The 'Womba' Effect

Tonight, whilst engaged in a wonderful twitter debate, I was inspired to write this blog. The twitter debate is normally facilitated by the inspirational @JaneParenting but tonight at the helm was the insightful author of War And Peas @JoCormack - a book about being more aware of emotions and eating. If you'd like to join Jane she holds an interesting twitter debate every Thursday at 8pm under the hashtag rchchat. Tonights hot topic led me to consider resilience in children. 

We often hear the term resilience and to me amongst others, it is key. Even the UK TV School-based Drama, Waterloo Road are including this as a key feature in their latest series.

So what is resilience? Is it the ability to bounce back? Why do our children need to be resilient? Is it because it will support them in the ‘now’ and in their future? I think so. Do you?

As a mum, I have encouraged my daughter to develop resilience. I am a Blossom Method and Attachment parent and through our attachment she has gained a wonderful inner strength and outer strength.

In her early years as she reached out to grab I encouraged her to explore for herself. I never passed to her what she was reaching for I simply supported her in her exploration and moved the object to a place she could reach it for herself.

At age two Blossom insisted upon entering into the world of Bollywood Dancing. So following her intuition and desires, my husband found a class and she began her journey into Bollywood at age three. He drove her every Sunday morning, the 60 mile round trip, where she continued on with this until she was 5 years old and she won the local Bollywood Championships! Sadly, the class was then closed. 

When she began to reach out even further we have been there. We have watched her insist upon climbing very tall trees (age 4), and however frightening this was for me (yes, me rather than my husband) I still allowed her to explore. We, of course, supported her and made ourselves available as a ‘safety net’ if she needed us. I’m sure many of you do these things as well. I am certain there are other parents who simply cannot get over their own anxieties and as a result they hover, like helicopters with their propellers of anxiety whizzing in fear!

During all of these events something incredible happens to my body, and in particular my womb. As I watch, encourage and secretly manage my own anxiety, my womb goes into overdrive and flips sometimes to the point of nausea. It tells me something. Something I always attune to. This is a powerful bodily expression that I listen to even in the absence of my daughter, Blossom. A feeling I have experienced often even if I cannot see her.

Recently I was in the same building as my daughter and I was seated in a place I could not see her. I felt a strong body sense and then my womb started flipping. I immediately said to my husband and other people, there’s something wrong with Blossom. She is crying. When I eventually reached her she was very upset and distressed. How did my body know? Why did I follow my ‘womb’? I followed it because I know it to be a reliable source. I followed it because Blossom and I are so very attuned, emotionally and bodily. Why is this so? I really don’t know but I do put some of this down to ‘The Blossom Method’ and as a result our incredible attunement. 

Somehow (once I know she is safe), my womb settles its self back to a more comfortable position and we all move on. In our house we call this a ‘womba’. You’ll often hear Blossom saying, “Did I give you a ‘womba’ mummy? I’m curious do other mum’s (and Dads) experience this in their bodies?

Do you experience the ‘womba’ effect? If so, I’d love to hear your stories. Please comment below and let’s encourage others to tune into their bodies and gather more information about our children using the power of the ‘womba’ effect and the rest of our bodies.

Dr Vivien Sabel  DPsych
MA Psych, Pg. Dip. Psych. Couns., Pg. Dip. Integ. Psych., Pg. Cert. Clinical Supervision, Pg. Cert. Management., Dip. Deaf Studies.

Author of the award-winning The Blossom Method™- The Revolutionary Way To Communicate With Your Baby From Birth 

Baby Observer and Parenting Advisor 

UKCP Relational Psychotherapist

Website:                     http://www.viviensabel.com

Blog:                           http://www.viviensabel68.blogspot.com

Email:                         viviensabel@gmail.com

Twitter:                       https://twitter.com/viviensabel

Facebook:                  https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Blossom-Method/185256554909488

YouTube:                   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OSIZPW2WWE&feature=related

LinkedIn:                    http://www.linkedin.com/pub/vivien-sabel/17/bb1/31

Scientists develop new method of genetically screening IVF embryos to improve pregnancy rates -

It’s often said the most painful thing about pregnancy is not being able to get pregnant in the first place and from personal experience, that couldn’t be more true. Now, hope may be out there for so many more women than there has ever been before. New developments with the process of In Vitro Fertilisation (IVF) mean that embryos can be pre screened for generic deficits.

It’s suggested that currently the outcome of IVF is largely inconsistent and only successful with 1 in 3 cases on average. Research suggests almost 80% of embryos fail due to undetected deficits. Scientists claim these pre screening tools may increase conception rates by up to 50% from current stats.

Known as next-generation sequencing (NGS), the technology is capable of quickly scanning the embryo. According to the U.K.'s Independent, machines that utilize NGS they can scan millions of strands of DNA from a single cell taken from an embryo.

For me personally, it’s a subject that can’t be any closer to my heart and completely represents the stage of my life I’m currently living. I’m undergoing investigations and tests for IVF at the moment and my biggest fear is what if it doesn’t work? What if I can’t ever have a baby of my own? For me it would fill a void. I often see mums out with their babies and I long for that to be me one day and soon.

I’m not saying it’s the answer to everything and by no means am I saying it guarantees success, sadly there will still be times where the procedure proves unsuccessful, and there may even be times where the IVF process may not be possible to try in the first place. I have to go for further tests before they are able to day it’s definitely an option for me. If pregnancy wasn’t a big deal on its own, having to go through the process of IVF adds extra pressure and doesn’t come without its risks. So any developments that offer greater chances for conception and addressing any potential irregularities is a bonus in my eyes. 

Living with Turners Syndrome

So what is Turners Syndrome? Basically it’s a Chromosome abnormality affecting only females caused by a complete and partial deletion of the ‘X’ chromosome. 1 in every 2,000 female births results in the baby being born with Turners.

OK, scientific part over. Girls or women with Turners Syndrome may only have a few or several of the features associated with Turners (more on this later) but short stature and infertility are almost always present.

I was born with under developed ovaries. Not only were they under developed, they also had an increased chance of turning cancerous and so they were removed when I was 7 yrs old, I’m infertile. I’m naturally very maternal and have often wondered whether this is a natural instinct or whether it’s been strengthened due to my circumstances. Thankfully options of IVF are now available to women with Turners and that’s something I’ve began looking in to recently, so watch out for updates in future posts.

I’ve learnt it’s important to have a positive perspective, I’d never cope otherwise. Many people have argued the only purpose of human life is to procreate, I couldn’t disagree more!!  We are all here for a reason for being here and that reason can be a million and one things, all individual to us. I mean, you have to leave your stamp on the world in some way right? A lasting legacy. My instinct tells me I would probably have fallen pregnant early if I were able to conceive. That may have got in the way of development in other aspects of my life, my career for example. Call me crazy, deluded, on cloud cookoo, I don’t care, I probably am. Not having a baby naturally was just fate and if it’s meant to be, IVF will work or I can adopt. It’s important I have a purpose in life and thinking the way I do helps me come to terms with it.

As for my short stature, well, you know what they say about good things and small packages ;-)

For more information check out http://www.tss.org.uk/  which includes further information and personal accounts of other women living with Turners. 

Hello, I'm Jess!

Hi! I’m Jess. I’ve kindly been invited by Vivien to blog on her site.  Being a complete novice to blogging this filled me with a mixture of dread but pure excitement; I’d never considered blogging as a way of exploring new opportunities before but, I though what have I got to lose? So here goes.

The everyday ‘bits and bobs’, I’m 25, live in Yorkshire and currently an Assistant Psychologist. Why Psychology? Well, Psychology, to me, has also been a way of coming to terms with my own life experiences, understanding what factors may have been involved with the more painful and also joyous times. It’s provided closure in a lot of cases. Psychology has allowed me to understand everyone is unique and has a story to tell. I’ve also learnt from Psychology that in no way should I be ashamed of me, and who I am, it’s taught me to embrace it. They’ll be more on this in future posts but for those of you who feel like many goals are ‘out of reach’ I’d say that you can achieve what you set out to achieve and shouldn’t let anything stand in your way. After all if it’s worth having it its worth fighting for right? (bit of Cheryl Cole for you there…… not intentional, I’m more of an alternative/indie rocker music fan myself, anyway, back to the point). I’ve always felt like I have had a point to prove. Doctors were saying I’d never leave school with any GCSE’s,(more on this in future posts) well I left with 9, then went on to do my A levels then my undergraduate degree and now I’m an Assistant Psychologist.  As a kid I often felt like I didn’t quite fit in with mainstream stuff, at school I only had only had a select few mates and I’d rather stay in and read a book or watch a movie as opposed to going to all night parties or being Miss popular.” If I’m honest,  I felt like a bit of a loner at times but as I grew older I began studying Psychology, I thought so what?, it’s boring to ‘go along with the crowd’. The people that were worth bothering with stuck around and supported me.

I’m facing a huge personal obstacle now in my ambition to be accepted on to clinical training. Even now I think will I ever get there?  Am I worth it? Have I got what it takes? I can understand why people describe it as a very lonely and daunting journey.  But I Will never give up the fight in my quest to becoming a qualified Clinical Psychologist. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, I will never stop trying, and this is the one thing I know I was destined to do. I can’t imagine doing anything else.

I have a condition called Turners Syndrome, what’s that? What does it mean?  Well more about that in my next blog. In the meantime, check out http://www.tss.org.uk/  and thanks very much for reading this, hopefully you’ll like my future posts too.

The Blossom Method - a gift for the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge

I can’t help but think that whilst millions of women all over the world are giving birth there is so much pressure on Kate and William to tow the party line and have their baby in the way others decide.  I wonder how you would feel if others ‘insisted’ on you having YOUR baby THEIR way. I know it wouldn’t have suited me!

I cannot tell you how excited I was to hear that Kate is thinking about HypnoBirthing as a way of birthing. HypnoBirthing http://www.hypnobirthing.co.uk/ was our chosen birthing method and I cannot recommend it highly enough. What’s even more exciting is a couple of months ago I spoke with the press office at Ebury (Vermilion) home of The Blossom Method, as I wanted to forward a copy of The Blossom Method to ‘Kate and William’. I really wanted to share the joy of The Blossom Method (and Hypnobirthing) with the soon to be parents. I sent a personal message and a copy of The Blossom Method in the month of May. Giving Kate plenty of time to read and digest all that is The Blossom Method. 

I do hope they have enjoyed The Blossom Method and I look forward to hearing all about it!

If perchance you are reading this Kate, here are some of the latest messages from parents using The Blossom Method.

"I talk about you and your book to all my new (and current) mummy friends. I think your book was the start of something truly special for me and my son... who incidentally is going to be 1 in a few weeks time, can you believe it?!" Dawn (UK)

"I've been meaning to email you for ages to tell you how much I enjoyed your book. I found it fascinating and loved watching for Noah's expressions and tongue movements. One we found particularly useful was his sickness warning. He would twist his tongue a little and also give us a slight smile which gave me a warning to prepare for vomit!! He is a sicky baby so this was a great help." Amy (Australia)