Independent Review ~Vivien Sabel
Soul to Soul Parenting by Annie Burnside
This book introduces you to a new paradigm in parenting. Soul to Soul Parenting encapsulates 21st century parenting and consciousness. Annie Burnside’s use of language is truly beautiful. Her words appear to trickle across the pages like beautiful rain falling on autumn leaves. “Conscious parenting is open to all who desire it” (Burnside 2011). This is certainly one of the messages carried throughout this beautifully crafted work of art. Annie provides you with a ‘global’ understanding of the meaning of consciousness - a model any family regardless of religion or beliefs can connect with. She also goes on to introduce you to over twenty ways of interweaving consciousness into the foundation of your family. I believe, introducing her concepts to your own family will be life changing for all! Annie’s non-prescriptive approach resonates and connects with 21st century thinking.
Personally, in reviewing this book, I have been enlightened, inspired and awakened. Soul to Soul Parenting has awakened my spirit and the creative messages found within are ‘jewels’ I will carry with me and pass on to others. This book certainly has SOUL!
Thank you Annie for providing me with all of the parenting tools required for raising a family in the 21st century. I cannot wait for your next book!
Vivien Sabel UKCP MBACP ScPTI MNCP
Mother, UK registered Psychotherapist, Writer, Researcher & Book Reviewer
http://www.viviensabel.com/
http://www.viviensabel68.blogspot.com/
http://www.twitter.com/viviensabel/
Donate to Saying Goodbye and help me raise money for infant loss
Sunday, 19 June 2011
Tuesday, 14 June 2011
Hot off the press..the astounding response from the publisher
Hello all
I AM LOOKING FOR A PUBLISHER WITH MASSIVE MARKETING AND DISTRIBUTION DIVISIONS - to accommodate millions of book sales!!
As promised, publishing news for you! Here it is, I've just heard from the publisher. The following words have been taken from the actual email from the publisher. I am astounded, delighted and a little sad I didn't get to fly to Australia!
We have finally read your manuscript, we’ve discussed and we’ve decided that unfortunately we will not be able to publish it. It is a FANTASTIC manuscript with ground-breaking ideas that will go on to sell millions of copies. Unfortunately, we are a small operation and are unable to do it justice. We are not set up to deal with books with such a mass potential. In fact, it wouldn’t be fair on you if we were to publish it. It needs a publisher of a different calibre and massive marketing and distribution divisions.
Vivien – please submit your manuscript to one of the major trade publishers specialising in parenting books in the UK or the US (like Random House).
As you have been reviewing and reading books in this area you will have a much better idea than me where to go apart from Random House. Have a look at your bookshelf and see where the parenting books that you like have been published. And please aim high.
I am sorry to have taken such a long time. I would have loved to work on your book, but I firmly believe that you will be much better off at a bigger publisher specialising in mass-market books.
If there is anything I can help with, please let me know.
So that's my news....I am buzzing! I am now in the process of following two potential leads with publishers a little closer to home. I am more than happy with the sentiment and comments from this international publishing house. Remember I haven't taken my manuscript to any other publishers yet and look at the response I have been offered from a publishing house contacted by one of my manuscript reviewers!
Millions of copies, mass-market, FANTASTIC, ground-breaking, a book with mass potential....I am super happy! Thank you for sharing my news. I look forward to telling you all about what happens next!
Warmest Vivien
I AM LOOKING FOR A PUBLISHER WITH MASSIVE MARKETING AND DISTRIBUTION DIVISIONS - to accommodate millions of book sales!!
As promised, publishing news for you! Here it is, I've just heard from the publisher. The following words have been taken from the actual email from the publisher. I am astounded, delighted and a little sad I didn't get to fly to Australia!
We have finally read your manuscript, we’ve discussed and we’ve decided that unfortunately we will not be able to publish it. It is a FANTASTIC manuscript with ground-breaking ideas that will go on to sell millions of copies. Unfortunately, we are a small operation and are unable to do it justice. We are not set up to deal with books with such a mass potential. In fact, it wouldn’t be fair on you if we were to publish it. It needs a publisher of a different calibre and massive marketing and distribution divisions.
Vivien – please submit your manuscript to one of the major trade publishers specialising in parenting books in the UK or the US (like Random House).
As you have been reviewing and reading books in this area you will have a much better idea than me where to go apart from Random House. Have a look at your bookshelf and see where the parenting books that you like have been published. And please aim high.
I am sorry to have taken such a long time. I would have loved to work on your book, but I firmly believe that you will be much better off at a bigger publisher specialising in mass-market books.
If there is anything I can help with, please let me know.
So that's my news....I am buzzing! I am now in the process of following two potential leads with publishers a little closer to home. I am more than happy with the sentiment and comments from this international publishing house. Remember I haven't taken my manuscript to any other publishers yet and look at the response I have been offered from a publishing house contacted by one of my manuscript reviewers!
Millions of copies, mass-market, FANTASTIC, ground-breaking, a book with mass potential....I am super happy! Thank you for sharing my news. I look forward to telling you all about what happens next!
Warmest Vivien
Sunday, 12 June 2011
Tuesday, 7 June 2011
Get off the Drama Triangle ~ Part II
Well hello again
For those of you new to this blog I'm in the process of unpacking my take on some of the theory taken from Transactional Analysis (TA). I have posted my thoughts and an overview of the role of rescuer from the Drama Triangle and I have promised to cover the role of the persecutor for part II. This is especially for @marylineleese as she said she was very much looking forward to the next part of this blog. Here we go Maryline! And thank you for all of the interest shown in my work.
For those of you unfamiliar with the concept of the Drama Triangle it is as suggested taken from TA. It suggests we are very much on the Drama Triangle if we feel like we need a rescuer, we feel like a victim or like we are being persecuted by others. Or, we are very much involved in the drama triangle if we feel like we want to persecute, victimise or rescue others.
In part I, I covered the rescuer and today I'll cover the persecutor. OK so have you ever felt like you want to persecute others or that you are being persecuted by others? If so, you are once again on or involved in the Drama Triangle.
Firstly if you have a need to persecute others I have a need to ask why? Why would you feel like you need to persecute? If you do it seems you are feeling less powerful than the others you need to persecute. If this is the case why have you given away your power? My advice here is NOT to involve yourself in the negativity of 'persecution'. If others are involved in these behaviours steer well clear. Make a stand and tell them you do not want to be part of these negative behaviours. You don't have to be involved in 'bitching' and persecutory behaviours. If you have a valid point to make, how about you simply make it! Talking to people about your feelings and owning your own power is much more positive than being involved in persecutory behaviours.
If, on the other hand, you feel like you are being persecuted then as suggested you have given your power away to an 'other'. Feelings of a persecutory nature can be stirred through past significant relationships or from powerful relationships in the 'here and now'. Either way I suggest you OWN YOUR OWN POWER and stop being a victim! Harsh I know but true!
Yes, in the past i have felt like I have been a victim of persecutory behaviours but once I began to understand MY ROLE in this and now I no longer experience this.
OK I think this covers the persecutor factor! Do let me know what you think?
Thanks for taking the time to view and share!
Warmest Vivien ~ The Powerful and non-persecutory one!!! LOL
For those of you new to this blog I'm in the process of unpacking my take on some of the theory taken from Transactional Analysis (TA). I have posted my thoughts and an overview of the role of rescuer from the Drama Triangle and I have promised to cover the role of the persecutor for part II. This is especially for @marylineleese as she said she was very much looking forward to the next part of this blog. Here we go Maryline! And thank you for all of the interest shown in my work.
For those of you unfamiliar with the concept of the Drama Triangle it is as suggested taken from TA. It suggests we are very much on the Drama Triangle if we feel like we need a rescuer, we feel like a victim or like we are being persecuted by others. Or, we are very much involved in the drama triangle if we feel like we want to persecute, victimise or rescue others.
In part I, I covered the rescuer and today I'll cover the persecutor. OK so have you ever felt like you want to persecute others or that you are being persecuted by others? If so, you are once again on or involved in the Drama Triangle.
Firstly if you have a need to persecute others I have a need to ask why? Why would you feel like you need to persecute? If you do it seems you are feeling less powerful than the others you need to persecute. If this is the case why have you given away your power? My advice here is NOT to involve yourself in the negativity of 'persecution'. If others are involved in these behaviours steer well clear. Make a stand and tell them you do not want to be part of these negative behaviours. You don't have to be involved in 'bitching' and persecutory behaviours. If you have a valid point to make, how about you simply make it! Talking to people about your feelings and owning your own power is much more positive than being involved in persecutory behaviours.
If, on the other hand, you feel like you are being persecuted then as suggested you have given your power away to an 'other'. Feelings of a persecutory nature can be stirred through past significant relationships or from powerful relationships in the 'here and now'. Either way I suggest you OWN YOUR OWN POWER and stop being a victim! Harsh I know but true!
Yes, in the past i have felt like I have been a victim of persecutory behaviours but once I began to understand MY ROLE in this and now I no longer experience this.
OK I think this covers the persecutor factor! Do let me know what you think?
Thanks for taking the time to view and share!
Warmest Vivien ~ The Powerful and non-persecutory one!!! LOL
Sunday, 29 May 2011
Get off the Drama Triangle!!
My clients and patients tell me that one of the most valuable things they have learnt in psychotherapy is in relation to themselves and the concept of the Drama Triangle. In my clinical practice I like to share my learning for the benefit of others. The theory of the Drama Triangle is one theory taken from Transactional Analysis and is something that many of us have either been involved in or have been an observer of. This is my take on this concept.
Are you a Rescuer, a Victim or a Persecutor? Do you feel like you want to be rescued? Do you feel like you want to give up and be a victim? Do you feel like you're being persecuted? If you feel any of these things then you are on the Drama Triangle. Frankly, not a good place to be.
So are any of the above roles healthy? In a word, no! It seems most people fall into the rescuer category. This is easy to do isn't it? A friend comes around and tells you she's had the most dreadful time and before you know it you find yourself offering to do 'anything' to help. Being sympathetic and empathic is supportive but offering to do things isn't always the answer. Let me explain.
If we offer to do things for others all of the time we can become resentful. Nine times out of ten this offer to help is not a reciprocal arrangement. It's usually what you do for others but not what others do for you. Here we see how the resentment builds. Resentment can turn into anger and anger can transform into depression so go carefully. Do not go around offering to rescue others at a cost to your own health and well-being.
The second part to this relates to how others behave when they are being rescued. Imagine if you have been available to rescue someone all of the time and then suddenly for reasons beyond your control you are unable to rescue. Well let me tell you what happens, you are suddenly the worst friend or relative in the world. The person you've been consistently rescuing has become infantilized - that is unable to do things for themselves. You have encouraged this by taking responsibility for doing things for them - rescuing them. And in your absence they now 'hate' the fact that for what ever reason you are unable to help (aka rescue) this time. You will then be persecuted by the person you have been rescuing. They are likely to whinge and moan about how unreliable you are and what a rubbish friend or relative you are, usually behind your back. Can you see how this transpires.
If you feel you are involved in the Drama Triangle there is ONLY one way to get off. Keep your boundaries. If you a rescuing type this is what I advise. In being presented with the 'awful' news from a friend or relative just simply offer sympathy and make empathic noises. For example "Oh I'm so sorry to hear your news, this must be very difficult for you." FULL STOP. You do not need to do what you usually do and say "Is there anything I can do to help?" or even worse "Right I'll do this and that and the other." It's not your job to offer to this, that and the other. You must support people to ask for what they need and try and support them to secure their needs in their own way.
I think we'll focus more on the role of the persecutor next time. We'll also look at changing the negative roles of persecutor, rescuer and victim to more positive ones!
Please leave a comment, thank you.
Are you a Rescuer, a Victim or a Persecutor? Do you feel like you want to be rescued? Do you feel like you want to give up and be a victim? Do you feel like you're being persecuted? If you feel any of these things then you are on the Drama Triangle. Frankly, not a good place to be.
So are any of the above roles healthy? In a word, no! It seems most people fall into the rescuer category. This is easy to do isn't it? A friend comes around and tells you she's had the most dreadful time and before you know it you find yourself offering to do 'anything' to help. Being sympathetic and empathic is supportive but offering to do things isn't always the answer. Let me explain.
If we offer to do things for others all of the time we can become resentful. Nine times out of ten this offer to help is not a reciprocal arrangement. It's usually what you do for others but not what others do for you. Here we see how the resentment builds. Resentment can turn into anger and anger can transform into depression so go carefully. Do not go around offering to rescue others at a cost to your own health and well-being.
The second part to this relates to how others behave when they are being rescued. Imagine if you have been available to rescue someone all of the time and then suddenly for reasons beyond your control you are unable to rescue. Well let me tell you what happens, you are suddenly the worst friend or relative in the world. The person you've been consistently rescuing has become infantilized - that is unable to do things for themselves. You have encouraged this by taking responsibility for doing things for them - rescuing them. And in your absence they now 'hate' the fact that for what ever reason you are unable to help (aka rescue) this time. You will then be persecuted by the person you have been rescuing. They are likely to whinge and moan about how unreliable you are and what a rubbish friend or relative you are, usually behind your back. Can you see how this transpires.
If you feel you are involved in the Drama Triangle there is ONLY one way to get off. Keep your boundaries. If you a rescuing type this is what I advise. In being presented with the 'awful' news from a friend or relative just simply offer sympathy and make empathic noises. For example "Oh I'm so sorry to hear your news, this must be very difficult for you." FULL STOP. You do not need to do what you usually do and say "Is there anything I can do to help?" or even worse "Right I'll do this and that and the other." It's not your job to offer to this, that and the other. You must support people to ask for what they need and try and support them to secure their needs in their own way.
I think we'll focus more on the role of the persecutor next time. We'll also look at changing the negative roles of persecutor, rescuer and victim to more positive ones!
Please leave a comment, thank you.
Saturday, 28 May 2011
Another fabulous review of my book...I'm so excited
If you have ever been frustrated by your inability to interpret your baby's wants and needs, this book is for you. Vivien Sabel introduces the Blossom Method, a revolutionary technique for reading your baby's body language. The results: less frustration, a closer parent/child bond, and much more parenting confidence!
Susan M. Heim
Co-author, Boosting Your baby's Brain Power
http://www.susanheim.com
Susan M. Heim
Co-author, Boosting Your baby's Brain Power
http://www.susanheim.com
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