Baby Body Language

Human language development may have suppressed, to a subconscious level, a more primal body language communication which is still experienced and available to us. Make yourself more aware, and in doing so, develop a wonderful connectedness with the body and feelings of you and your infant.

My upcoming book considers the importance of early communication and a secure attachment for infants. It emphasizes the benefits of co-creating a safe, nurturing and active listening environment where early communication and an innate sense of being seen (and therefore heard) are experienced as valuable to both caregiver and infant.

In infancy and beyond your aim should be to create a safe and loving place for your infant to develop and grow where interaction between you, as a primary caregiver, and your infant is felt and experienced. This will support your infant to feel and experience trust and develop confidence in their relationships with you and others. If your infant feels understood, feels contained and feels seen (and therefore heard), will this support the development of your infant's emotional core infrastructure required for emotional and physical development? The effects of our early experiences are embodied and continually experienced throughout life.

Any thoughts or comments welcomed.

Warmest Viv

The relational supervisor......some thoughts......

Here are some of my thoughts...................

The relational supervisor recognizes the presence of a multiplicity of relationships in the supervisory/supervisee relationship. The relational supervisor seeks to provide a relationship that will support the supervisee to develop their awareness and enhance their personal and professional development, where he or she can expand their skills and knowledge of both theory and practice to support their clients and their own professional development. The relational supervisor seeks to be able to support the supervisee to support the client to identify, assess and re-work repeating relational patterns and dynamic elements which they identify as unhelpful to them. Unconscious processes will be present in the therapeutic and supervisory relationship and an awareness of these and capacity to focus upon these to develop skills will form part of the work of a trainee and supervisor. For example, a trainee may when talking about a particular client seemingly may present themselves in a specific way. This will be identified in the supervisory relationship and explored. Why do you appear to present in this way when referring to this client? How do you feel about him or her? Tell me what you experienced initially and in follow-on sessions? Exploring parallel process I see as useful when brought to the attention of the supervisee. This can support the trainee and the client. This exploration may support a deeper self-understanding that may be experienced as healing for both the client and the trainee.

Like the relational trainee, the relational supervisor asserts that she has no superior knowledge about the client, the supervisee or the work being supervised; indeed my own interpretation will be based only on my perception, my truth and my reality. Therefore without discounting my supervisory skills or experience or my role as supporter, helping the supervisee to integrate theory and practice, I want to consider, seek out and explore with the supervisee the insights and meaning he/she identifies with, and that resonates with the client). Supporting the supervisee to develop faith in their own skills, demonstrating positivity in their capacity to practice and therefore building a solid foundation where trust is felt and experienced by the supervisee, will serve the trainee well. This said I am aware of the need to ensure safe and good practice and to discuss how to improve upon poor practice. In supervisory practice there is an inescapable power differential but my aim is to promote dual responsibility, dual negotiation, dual learning, dual development, a dual commitment to good practice therefore a relational sense of mutuality.

Any others thoughts from you?

Warmest Viv

Baby Signing - Is fantastic!

I once met a grandmother with concerns about baby signing. I was keen to clarify the benefits of this wonderful early communication system.

I am a keen supporter of baby signing. Some time ago, I remember having a conversation with a grandparent about her daughter wishing to pursue this with her infant. The grandmother was asking me what I felt about it, so I went onto explain how wonderful it was to utilise sign language with your baby. I explained how useful and creative it was to see infants signing to their parents (and vice versa) and others. I also said it was fantastic to see infants being understood by their parents, and as a result getting their needs met prior to developing full speech. The grandmother was surprised. She said that she had felt rather negative about her daughter enrolling onto a 'Baby Signing' class. I was surprised she had felt negative and asked her to explain her reasons for her negativity. The grandmother said she had previously thought it may interfere with her grandchild's speech development. I said that this was not my experience and that I whole-heartedly supported mothers (or fathers) attendance at Baby-Signing classes. The grandmother knew of my background and as a result seemingly changed her views on this subject. Baby signing is fantastic!!

Are you supporting your toddler to develop their 'inner explorer'?

I feel there is value in sharing an anecdotal tale to describe a developing positive toddler/parent attachment relationship. Imagine yourself in your mothering (or fathering) role and your toddler in your local park. A healthily attached toddler will want to go off and develop their 'inner explorer' qualities. A watchful mother will observe her toddler to ensure their safety but will encourage their child in their explorations. A securely attached child will go and explore whilst intermittently looking back towards the mother to seek their presence, availability and encouragement. In opposition an insecurely attached toddler may not feel confident enough to leave the side of their mother. An over anxious primary care-giver may not feel confidence in their toddler and as a result may not wish their toddler to leave their side. This demonstrates the insecure attachment in the primary care-giver and toddler. This will impact negatively upon the toddler and in turn the primary care-giver. The toddler may have a need to be inquisitive, curious and to explore, but as a direct result of the mother's anxiety, the toddler will not be able to leave the side of the mother. This will lead to frustration (in the toddler) which will in turn be presented to the mother. This toddler will develop separation anxiety issues which will be problematic from this point onwards. We are seeking to encourage our little ones to explore their world. We are not seeking to impart and project our own anxieties onto our infants and as a result suppress their 'inner explorer'.

Positive attachment begins in infancy. Your availability and presence are key to providing a 'secure base' from which to explore.

Door Handle Psychotherapy..

In order to work with further depth in my clinical practice I have formally and humorously banned the use of the word 'fine'. What does this word mean? Does it really mean I'm not happy? Or does it mean, I am angry - or, I am sad - or, I am stuck and I don't know how to express myself at this moment? I often times say that if you choose to use this word you must provide me with a full explanation its meaning to you on this and every subsequent occasion. Are you really fine? Are you angry-fine? Are you irritated-fine? Are you ambivalent-fine? How many times have you met with a client or friend and asked how they are feeling only to be met with this expression, “I'm fine”. Those I have had the privilege to work with will know this to be true. The irony here is that it is the lack of expression which fuels my curiosity. I want to avoid 'door handle' psychotherapy as it seems to waste the time of my clients. 'Door handle' psychotherapy means a client will wait until they are almost out of the door before they express what they are really experiencing or wanting to discuss. At this point there will be little time to discuss any of the client's feelings as they are about to leave the therapeutic space. By tackling the 'fine' issue I hope to encourage the client to explore their inner selves whilst in the session and not as they are about to leave. I always encourage a multi-sensory exploration; enquiring into feelings in the body, thoughts in the mind, body held memories, adjectives and pictures to explore experiences, visual images to unpack feelings. I hope this has given you something more to think about. My emphasis here is to remind you, we are more than cognitive. We are able to perceive on so many levels. Let's utilise our multi-sensory resources to serve our clients and patients well.

A funny story to tell....an extract from my upcoming book!

At thirteen months old, on a family holiday to South Africa I recall Blossom's breast-feeding experiences seemingly surprised some of our fellow passengers on the aeroplane. Blossom breast-fed throughout this long haul flight. I distinctly recall her saying “I'll have the left one booby Mummy”, and when she had finished nourishing herself on my left breast she said “I'll have the right one booby Mummy”. I noted the non-verbal expressions of a gentleman sitting in a seat on the opposite aisle. He looked over at me and looked at Blossom as if to say: “Who said that?” I indicated non-verbally by looking down at Blossom that she had uttered the words. He was very surprised that this seemingly young baby could express herself so clearly – let alone distinguish between left and right!

Warmest Viv

My book is with a publishing house...they are reviewing it for potential publication!

Hello

I wonder what you are doing and how life is treating you?

It's a blustery wet day here in Yorkshire but the sun is still shining in my mind!! My book has travelled across the globe and is with a publishing house in Australia. This in itself is exciting but waiting to hear from them is very, very exciting. I am trying to contain my excitement and get on with life and work but I find myself drifting off and wondering how a book launch would be in Australia!!! Wouldn't it be fabulous!!

I wonder what they'll think? I am as always positive but this is all new to me.

Right I have to go...I have a clinic to run.

Warmest wishes for now Vivien