Door Handle Psychotherapy..

In order to work with further depth in my clinical practice I have formally and humorously banned the use of the word 'fine'. What does this word mean? Does it really mean I'm not happy? Or does it mean, I am angry - or, I am sad - or, I am stuck and I don't know how to express myself at this moment? I often times say that if you choose to use this word you must provide me with a full explanation its meaning to you on this and every subsequent occasion. Are you really fine? Are you angry-fine? Are you irritated-fine? Are you ambivalent-fine? How many times have you met with a client or friend and asked how they are feeling only to be met with this expression, “I'm fine”. Those I have had the privilege to work with will know this to be true. The irony here is that it is the lack of expression which fuels my curiosity. I want to avoid 'door handle' psychotherapy as it seems to waste the time of my clients. 'Door handle' psychotherapy means a client will wait until they are almost out of the door before they express what they are really experiencing or wanting to discuss. At this point there will be little time to discuss any of the client's feelings as they are about to leave the therapeutic space. By tackling the 'fine' issue I hope to encourage the client to explore their inner selves whilst in the session and not as they are about to leave. I always encourage a multi-sensory exploration; enquiring into feelings in the body, thoughts in the mind, body held memories, adjectives and pictures to explore experiences, visual images to unpack feelings. I hope this has given you something more to think about. My emphasis here is to remind you, we are more than cognitive. We are able to perceive on so many levels. Let's utilise our multi-sensory resources to serve our clients and patients well.

A funny story to tell....an extract from my upcoming book!

At thirteen months old, on a family holiday to South Africa I recall Blossom's breast-feeding experiences seemingly surprised some of our fellow passengers on the aeroplane. Blossom breast-fed throughout this long haul flight. I distinctly recall her saying “I'll have the left one booby Mummy”, and when she had finished nourishing herself on my left breast she said “I'll have the right one booby Mummy”. I noted the non-verbal expressions of a gentleman sitting in a seat on the opposite aisle. He looked over at me and looked at Blossom as if to say: “Who said that?” I indicated non-verbally by looking down at Blossom that she had uttered the words. He was very surprised that this seemingly young baby could express herself so clearly – let alone distinguish between left and right!

Warmest Viv

My book is with a publishing house...they are reviewing it for potential publication!

Hello

I wonder what you are doing and how life is treating you?

It's a blustery wet day here in Yorkshire but the sun is still shining in my mind!! My book has travelled across the globe and is with a publishing house in Australia. This in itself is exciting but waiting to hear from them is very, very exciting. I am trying to contain my excitement and get on with life and work but I find myself drifting off and wondering how a book launch would be in Australia!!! Wouldn't it be fabulous!!

I wonder what they'll think? I am as always positive but this is all new to me.

Right I have to go...I have a clinic to run.

Warmest wishes for now Vivien

A little more of the journey so far......

Hello

Sorry it's been a little while since I have made contact. I have indeed been a very busy psychotherapist, researcher and writer.

In January 2011 I closed my laptop cover and breathed a huge sigh of relief. As a driven and tenacious woman, I successfully requested and secured peer reviews from experts/parents across the globe. My reviews from Australia, South Africa, Scotland, England, USA and other places have been more than sensational. This said I felt something wasn't quite right with my book. I somehow felt my manuscript was underselling my "fascinating and astounding discoveries".

One of my reviewers was particularly helpful and suggested I undertook a further edit of my manuscript. I spent many more hours on this task until my laptop almost died! Not a great feeling for a writer I'll have you know! After editing and failing to do what you and I both know you need to...yes save it to disk, I lost my edited manuscript!!!! It was no where to be found. I had printed out a copy so I wasn't too devastated! I lost time, a little pride and was most annoyed with myself.......apart from this all was cool.

My laptop did die (although after some life-saving, we managed to save it and it's well enough for accessing CBBC and other such sites). After much persuasion I purchased a MacBook. I suppose I'm a little old school when comes to computers but I've been delighted with the MacBook and won't ever look back! Also I'm told all famous authors have MacBooks so I suppose I better jump on board!!

Now where was I..oh yes editing. Mmm editing is a rather laborious task but non the less a worthwhile skill to develop. The edited manuscript now highlights the delights of understanding and communicating with your baby from day one. I am happy with my mini book and will use all of the original material to write further mini books, so nothing is lost.

One of my reviewers has been very impressed and as such has taken my manuscript to a publishing house in Australia. I am now awaiting feedback. Will they or won't they? This is the question. I'll keep you updated with all my news.

I'm off to chill out for now. I'll be in touch soon.

Best wishes to you all for now Viv

First review in...my manuscript has been described as an "absolute gift"!!

Dear all

Today I have just received the first of my reviews. I am delighted by the reviewers comments.

The reviewer begins by saying "Look Who's Talking NOW!!" by Vivien Sabel is an absolute gift." She goes onto to say "I highly recommend it to all parents or anyone who works with or has an interest in the positive development of our children".

The positive comments flowed and of course I couldn't be happier.

May I thank all of my reviewers; I am deeply appreciate of the time you are taking to review my manuscript, thank you all of you across the globe.

I'll keep you posted on all of my global reviews.

Warmest wishes and much appreciation.

Viv

Global reviews of my book mansucript..how exciting!

Hello

How are you and what news do you have?

I have yet more exciting news! I have had some amazing reviews of my manuscript from friends, family members, colleagues and fellow clinicians but for ethical reasons I want to secure reviews of my manuscript from mums, dads, doctors, nurses, psychotherapists, therapists, special educational needs teachers, sleep counsellors,and others who don't know me. Or from individuals I may have met but don't have a close or personal relationship with. Of course I've had to find them, introduce myself and my findings, and request a review from them giving them a rather tight deadline too (if you are accessing this blog sorry for the tight deadline reviewers), I am so very keen to get my manuscript into print and out there across the globe!!

I have secured reviewers from as far Australia and South Africa. I am hoping to secure an American reviewer too.

By the way any MIDWIVES out there and DOULAS wishing to review my manuscript please feel free to contact me and let me know. I will be happy to have your review included too.

Right I'm a busy woman and I am being slightly avoidant again. I have been asked to work on a research paper as it will be published later in the year and I have until the end of February to finish it!! Oh well, those of you who know me know I will do it but you also know I'll distract myself with this blog and other wonderful distractions to avoid researching 'ambivalence and anxiety' a theme from the research!

Much love and warmth Viv

Yorkshire Post 9th February 2011 - my story made the front page headline!!

Hello all

Well, what a wonderful piece in the Yorkshire Post. I popped into the Newsagents on my way to clinic on Wednesday. As soon as I saw the Yorkshire Post I knew my story was in.

The story made the front page headlines "BRINGING UP BABY - HOW TO TELL WHAT NEWBORNS REALLY WANT." Next to the headline was a lovely photograph taken by Emma Hammond - professional photographer, (www.dalesviewphotography.co.uk) of the adorable Cat and Sebastian, the lovely mum and baby I've been working with to produce the case study for the book.

The feedback I have had from you about the article has been wonderful. I feel so supported in bringing this book into the world. You seem to have embodied my enthusiasm and appear to be mirroring it back to me. In addition you have brought with you your own enthusiasm and you appear to be demonstrating this in so many ways. A big big thank you to you all.

I'll sign off on this post for now as I have more amazing news...I'll write a new post for this!

Warmest wishes and a big thank you!

Here's the link to the Yorkshire Post article

http://www.yorkshirepost.co.uk/lifestyle/health-and-beauty/baby_talk_how_to_read_signs_and_communicate_1_3061331

Mmmmwwwaaaa Vivien
xxxxx